Tolly & Jasper: Tolly’s Boy

 

“My penis came!”

I dashed down the hall, oversized box in hand, doing my best not to trip, until I got to the kitchen. Tolly sat at the table, holding his tablet and shaking his head. He seemed to do that a lot.

“Tolly!”

He closed his eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath. He exhaled, then opened them, giving me a super-sweet, but really fake smile. I knew, because I’d seen my fair share of them in the past.

“Have we not, on more than one occasion, talked about shouting in the house, Jasper?”

Yup, that’s me. Jasper Andrew Michaelson. Honestly, I preferred the nickname the kids had given me when I was younger. Jam. How awesome is that? Well, at least until I found out that it wasn’t just because of my initials. It was the fact that I was always in trouble of one sort or another. Was it my fault people didn’t know how to have fun?

“Sorry,” I muttered, intentionally leaving off the ‘not sorry’ part, because I knew from experience that would be unwise. “But my penis came.”

He reached for his cup of coffee, which I had lovingly prepared for him. And that coffeecake with the streusel topping? I did that too.

Okay, fine. Tolly picked up the coffeecake from the bakery, and I poured the coffee that Tolly made, because I’m not allowed to touch the coffeemaker for any other reason. Like I should have known that the cord got caught between the heating plate and the pot, or that it would cause a teensy-weenie fire. I don’t get why Tolly was so upset. Two of those firemen were hot! Especially the one who winked at me.

Tolly said it was only because the guy had something in his eye, but I think we both knew better.

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how to respond to that,” he muttered.

I thrust the package in his direction, and he reached for it. The box was four feet long and about a foot wide. He yanked open the top, ripping through the packing tape like it was nothing. Sometimes I forget how strong he is.

Until it’s time for a spanking. Then I swear I’ll always remember. But, oddly enough,  I never do.

He reached in and pulled out the large, fuzzy purple penis pillow I ordered. It was perfect! And with those wide yellow eyes and that smile on its face, it made me think of how much he must like cuddling.

“What is… this?” Tolly ground out, holding it at arm’s length and staring at it like it had personally offended his mother. Again. I took it from him and wrapped my arms around it. So warm and fuzzy.

“My penis,” I reiterated, because really, it’s like the man didn’t listen to me at all.

“I think I need more coffee,” he grumbled. He pushed the cup in my direction, which was the cue to stop stroking my penis and pour him some more of that nasty and vile concoction. I put it back on the table and added two sugars and a splash of cream to it.

“Thank you.”

He took a long sip, his gaze never leaving me. I might have squirmed a bit, but it wasn’t because of him. Well, not just because of him. When he put the cup down, I waited with baited breath for him to tell me how amazing my penis was.

“Tell me you didn’t spend your allowance on… that.”

I’d saved up for two whole months to afford it! I scrimped on candy bars and hot cocoa at the coffeehouse, walked instead of taking the bus, and saved every penny I could, then added it to what Tolly gave me each week for my fun money.

“Um… yes?”

Tolly sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Why?”

It took everything in me to not stomp a foot and demand to know what the hell he meant. “Because it’s awesome, and perfect for cuddling, and…”

No way was I going to let him know that I would sleep with it when he was out of town for work. On those nights when I was home alone, worrying that Tolly had found someone better—younger—than me, and was up in his hotel room doing those things that we did. I squeezed my eyes shut, doing my best to not let them damn tears loose. When I opened them again, he was staring daggers in my direction.

Tolly arched one of his bushy brows. “Jasper, I asked you a question.”

That was Tolly. No nonsense, no hedging. If he wanted an answer, he wanted it now. The man really had a one track mind.

“I thought it was cute,” I kinda sorta lied.

“Why waste your money like that? You’re supposed to be saving up for the gift you said you wanted to buy for Cody when you finally got to see him again. The one you specifically told me I couldn’t help with because he’s your brother, and you needed this to be something you did on your own.”

Cody was a god to me when we were growing up. I’d heard from friends how their brothers treated them like crap, but Cody was never like that at all. Not once. He bought me ice cream, he took me to the park, he even let me slip into his bed when there was a big storm and mom was working. He didn’t even throw a fit when I got so scared I had an accident. Instead, he held me and told me I didn’t need to worry, because he’d never let anything happen to me.

And I believed him.

When it became way more than apparent I was gay, Cody was my shield. He’d never let anyone talk bad about me, and had even gone so far as to kick Craig Roberts out of Grandma’s house when he called me a fag. And Craig had been his best friend.

I loved my brother way more than I ever loved our father. Cody brought me home from school one afternoon, and we found him lugging a suitcase down the stairs, while he shouted up at our mom.

“You’re nothing but a fucking whore!” he’d screamed.

She appeared at the top of the stairs, her face a shade of red I hadn’t seen before, and was about to say something when she spotted me and Cody.

“Is this how you want to talk in front of our kids?”

His gaze snapped toward us, then back to our mom. “Your kids. I’m done with all of you,” he’d snarled. “Knowing you, they’re probably some other guy’s load you should have swallowed.”

And then, a moment later, he was just gone from our lives. I don’t know if Mom ever heard from him again, but I didn’t. Not that I ever missed him or the stuff he did to our family. Of course, when Mom left? That changed things entirely.

Strong arms encircled my waist and warmth rushed through me as Tolly kissed that spot behind my ear that always made me shiver.

“Are you going to talk to me now?” He squeezed a bit tighter. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

I turned quickly and buried my face in his chest, drawing his scent into my lungs. And worrying that I would never be able to do that again. Then the tears I’d been holding back bursting out.

“I’m old!” I wailed, images of Tolly in bed with men who could still put their knees to their ears pushing into my brain.

He chuckled, then tilted my chin up. “You’re twenty-five. That’s hardly old.”

But Tolly liked young guys. I saw him when we went to the beach, and he ogled the pretty boys in their tight suits as their beach balls bounced everywhere.

“I’m not as young as the guys at the beach,” I said quietly.

He stroked a hand over my hair, letting his fingers twist into the unkept mess that no amount of product could tame. “No, you’re not. Wanna know something? Neither am I.” He sat and pulled me down onto his lap, his arms around my chest. “Where’s this all coming from Jasper?”

I didn’t want to say, because it made me sound pathetic.

“Don’t even think about lying to me,” Tolly warned. “Now answer me.”

A quick sniffle. “When…. when you go out of town, do you take guys back to your room?”

His arms tightened almost uncomfortably. “What? Where the hell did you get that idea?” he demanded.

“From C-C-Connor. He said that the reason you didn’t want to talk to me when I called you that night, was that you took a guy to bed with you and… and…”

New tears burst out of me. I clutched Tolly’s shirt that smelled so much like him, and my heart was aching because I didn’t want to lose my home to someone younger than me. I already had Tolly almost, kinda sorta broken in and I liked it that way. 

He forced me back and stared into my eyes. His were burning with anger, and I trembled. I was a fuckup. We both knew it. Maybe this would be the day he told me to pack my shit and get out of his house—my home. “Okay, you know what? You don’t listen to Connor. Not now, not ever. If he says something you’re not sure about, you come to me and ask.” He grunted. “Do you honestly think I would ever cheat on you?” He clutched me to him. “Have I given you that impression?”

“When we go to the lake, you’re always looking at the other guys.”

“Oh, baby boy,” he crooned, kissing my hair. “It wasn’t me who popped a boner over that guy having the picnic with the girl, was it?”

Oh, he was hooooot. Slender body, but his abs were like sixteen packs, and he had arms and legs thick with muscles and….

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. There’s nothing wrong with looking, sweetheart.” Tolly chuckled, low and husky. “Wanna know something?” he asked, nuzzling my ear. “Yeah, I look. I won’t lie and say I don’t, because I would never disrespect you like that. But all those pretty boys? They’re not you. They don’t have your heart, or your passion, or… well, your unique way of seeing the world. I swear to you on everything I hold dear, you are the only one I want Jasper. For as long as you’ll have me, I’m all in.”

“But what happens when I am old. You like young guys.”

“No, that’s not true at all. Yes, I like to look at guys, but I love you, Jasper. Just you. I loved you at twenty. At twenty-five I discovered I loved you more, and now? I’m looking forward to every year after this, because my love for you is only going to get stronger.”

I sagged against him, utterly exhausted. It felt good to get this off my chest, and even better to hear him tell me he loved me, even though I was a stone’s throw from being decrepit.

“How long have you been worrying about this?”

God, I tried to count in my head. Why were numbers so hard? “A few months. Since you went to San Francisco for the week.”

“And Connor told you that I was sleeping around? Why would he do that, do you think?”

I had wondered that myself. After he left, I cried my heart out. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think he might be jealous of what we have?”

Connor was the master of one night stands. He didn’t have much in the way of standards other than they were breathing, and considering some of the men I’d seen him with, I couldn’t be certain that was even necessary.

“Jasper? Do you think he might be lonely?”

I clutched Tolly’s shirt in my fists as anger surged through me. “You are not going to make him less lonely!” I shouted. “You’re mine, and I don’t want you to think I’m going to share you.”

He chuckled as he slipped a hand around my neck and drew me closer. “Possessive little shit, aren’t you?” He kissed my shoulder. “I have no interest in anyone but you, my beautiful, sexy little brat. Now, as for your… penis. Can we send it back? Or is this something you really want?”

I was quiet for a few moments as I ran the options through my head. “Can I be honest with you?”

Tolly chuckled. “You’d better be. Your ass already has a date with my hand for keeping things from me.”

To be truthful, most times I don’t agree that I deserve a spanking. Tolly doesn’t take it easy on my poor behind. This one? Yeah, I deserved it because I didn’t talk to him. “I…. I get lonely when you’re gone. I mean, I know you have to do it, what with it being your job and all, but I hate being here alone. The house is too quiet, and it gives me time to think.”

He slid a hand over my back, which had me murmuring happily. “Which, as we both know, is a bad thing.”

It was. My brain had thousands of tabs open at once, with about ninety percent being porn related, eight percent worrying about my relationship with Tolly, and the rest humming the Macarena. God, I hated that song.

“I’ll send it back, if you want,” I offered.

“No, love. You told me why you need it, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Keep it, sleep with it—but not when I’m home—and let it be your company until I get back. Do you have a name for it yet?”

I did, but I didn’t think he’d approve. “I was going to call it Little Tolly.”

“Because I’m suck a dick?” he teased.

“No! Because you’re the one I cuddle with when I need someone to remind me I’m worthwhile to have.”

“You are, Jasper. You always will be. I love you.”

He reached into his pocket, took out his wallet, and withdrew two hundred dollars, which he handed to me.

“What’s this?”

“I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have been. I’m in charge, and I should have seen that you were having problems. That’s all on me. I don’t want you to send back your plushie, because it gives you a sense of security. Since you still need to get something for Cody. I want to chip in.”

“But I—” And new tears gushed out. Tolly smiled and pulled me to him. “I wanted to show you I could be an adult and get things done on my own.”

“Love, you are an adult. A beautiful, sweet, neurotic adult. Do you want to know what I love most about you? Don’t answer, because I’m going to tell you. Before I met you, I thought my life would be dull and boring. I’d work in the office for nine hours a day, then come back to an empty home where I’d microwave a pizza and then sit in front of the television and stuff my face. Once I’d done that, I’d go to bed, alone, and fret because the other side was empty and I had no one to share it with. Meeting you? It changed everything, and all for the better.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Have I ever said something I didn’t mean?” Tolly asked, stroking my cheek, his gaze nearly undoing me. “You’re the one who likes to dream. I’m the staid and boring one.”

He was. Oh God, he totally was. He had a closet full of the same exact charcoal gray suits, each marked with a tag for what day of the week he’d wear it. Also super-starched white shirts, and had pants with a pleat so sharp, I think I cut a finger on it once. Tolly grabbed my hand, then popped the digit into his mouth and announced it was strawberry jam. Still, while he called it staid and boring, I had another word for it.

“You’re dependable,” I whispered, holding that truth in my heart.

“That’s even worse. I want to be passionate, to show you I can be fun. To do things with you that you love.”

I snickered. “You could hold my penis.”

He reached out and ran his fingers over the purple fuzz. “I think that’s more your speed.”

I pushed his hand down toward my crotch. “I wasn’t really talking about that penis,” I told him, my face heating.

Normally, Tolly took the lead in everything we did. Today? I had a lot to make up for, so I leaned in and kissed him. It didn’t take long for his brain to catch up, and he took control of the smooch. His tongue glided over mine, then speared into my mouth. I did what I always had. Sat there and moaned. He was a pirate and he was plundering the treasure of my mouth, and would hopefully be taking my booty.

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” Tolly whispered.

“Couch is closer,” I gasped out.

He chuckled, deep, wicked, and filthy. “That it is. But we don’t have lube.”

“Under the cushion,” I told him. “I have bottles stashed around the house for emergencies.”

His brow arched. “And is this an emergency, Jasper?”

“Yes, it is!” I barked. “I need to get fucked.”

He snorted. “Language, baby. No swearing, remember? Keep that up, and I’ll have to stick something in your dirty little mouth.”

Oddly, I was okay with that. Unless it was that disgusting bar of soap he kept for such occasions. That stuff smells awesome, but tastes like… well, caca.

“Bend over the couch, ass in the air,” he said, unbuckling his belt. “No sense in letting good lube go to waste.”

After that, things were a blur, but all the while he was showing me who I was, I remember thinking how much I love this man, and how glad I am I’m Tolly’s boy.